Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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