dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
