That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
