We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
