I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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