How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
