I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i came on her dog
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
