Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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