Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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