A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
