I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
