I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I can't turn off my feet"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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