I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
