You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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