i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
