Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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