I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
