Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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