just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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