we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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