i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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