We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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