I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
