The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
