I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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