I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
