So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
