dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
