We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
