Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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