OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize