Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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