It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
