shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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