so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
