Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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