is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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