I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I am morally bankrupt
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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