I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize