I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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