it wasn't lemon gatorade
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
