Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
