you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
