So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize