she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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