The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
