I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
