Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize