Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Pooping to opera.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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