I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
