you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
