I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
