I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
only you would photoshop your dick
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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