Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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