I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
