I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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