i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I party with great urgency now.
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